Headshot Session for My Autistic Son, Paweł
Paweł
Welcome to another post!
Today a bit about my son and photography.
My son Paweł is studying Chemistry at Lancaster University and a week before Easter we brought him home for his holiday break. So, we spent three weeks together. 🥰 Since family is the most important thing to me, I put aside my affairs to be with my beloved child. Oh yes, I know, he just turned 20, but he will always be my child. ❤️ Of course, his return from university also meant a mountain of laundry, so I also had more work to do. Plus, Easter, the most important time of the year for me. But that's not what today is about.
My son is on the autism spectrum and that's why it is always crucial for me to spend as much time together as possible. I want him to know that I'm always here for him, and he can always rely on me. I accept and love him just the way he is, completely. He can trust in my support, and he's truly wonderful and special. I'm dedicated to helping him in his personal development and showing him his talents, even when they're hard for him to see. It often saddens me that the world isn't always easy for different, unique people. But that's a topic for another post. We both really enjoy cuddling; I know we both need it. However, sometimes I have to warn him about it so he doesn't jump away stressed.😅.
Hugging releases oxytocin, a hormone that plays a key role in forming healthy interpersonal relationships by reducing stress, increasing trust, and fostering emotional bonds. So let's hug it out! ❤️
As a person on the autism spectrum, Paweł may not be very talkative about personal topics like what's going on with him, how he feels, or how things are going at university. So, I don't know anything; I have to trust God and his word: „fine", whatever that means😊.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”
It was our first time going out for coffee together. Well, I had a coffee, and he indulged in a rich, velvety hot chocolate, as he doesn't drink coffee. 😁 I know for most people, it's nothing special, but for me, it meant a lot. Even though we hardly talked during it, I was so happy because we were together. ❤️
„True Portrait - Paweł’s Many Faces". These photos were captured using only natural light streaming in through the window.
“As in water face answers to face,
so the mind of man reflects the man.”
I realise that the time of studying is not only about new experiences but also a challenge for individuals with autism spectrum disorders. Alongside professional development, there's the matter of preparing for entry into the job market, which requires additional support and understanding. Crafting resumes, building professional profiles, and enhancing communication skills-both written and verbal-are key aspects of this process. Unfortunately, my son struggles immensely with this. He can't speak or write about himself, introduce himself, which hurts me deeply. He never asks for help. His mind is different, it's beautiful, it operates differently, and that's so fascinating. I see such potential in him!
“The world needs all kinds of minds.”
I try to help him by adapting communication with him, explaining difficulties, and consistently being there for him at every stage, building his self-confidence and showing him his potential. I have been working with him like this ever since I found out about his autism spectrum disorder when he was nine years old. Writing his CV and creating a LinkedIn profile took a lot of hard work and determination, but I was right there with him, guiding and explaining. I hope this will bear fruit someday… 😊
“I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a good teacher. My nanny was the first person who really believed in me. She insisted that I could do things that others thought were impossible.”
For his CV or professional profile, he needed a suitable photograph. So for the first time in a year, I took out my lighting equipment and dusted my background hung on the wall in the small room I used as my photography studio. For the past two years, I've struggled with doing portrait photography because of mental and body health problems. Despite my love for it, even thinking about it made me feel ill...
But what mother does not love taking pictures of her child? Which one would not do everything for them? 🥰
So, I set up my lighting gear and reflector, put on my favourite 50mm lens, and took some photos.
Paweł doesn't particularly enjoy posing for photographs, but he makes an exception for me, although not always. Maybe it's not about liking or not, but about some internal resistance. At least he needed the photo and was even pleased because his mom took it, not a stranger. 😉 Because he would not go to a stranger anyway.😅
Paweł must have had fun because he left such a surprise for me in the camera 😁❤️.
“I found that while the camera does not express the soul, perhaps a photograph can!”
We had a wonderful time. It felt so good to create portraits together. I think I'll leave the lights ready for next time. For now, selfies or family. I like playing and experimenting with lighting. And I'll see how everything turns out.
Here are the results of our session
Most photos show a serious expression on Paweł's face, but our session wasn't like that. We had a great time, and my beloved son made me laugh with his different expressions and poses. 😁 Our session was full of spontaneity and joy, which perfectly reflects our relationship. These are not only moments captured in photos but also memories full of laughter and closeness that these photos will always remind me of 🥰📷.
“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”
Technical aspects of the photoshoot
Regarding light, I used only Elinchrom Rotalux Octabox 135cm, which allowed me to obtain soft and even lighting. The white side walls further contributed to achieving this effect. I utilized a grey wall and a white background, which appears grey but in a lighter tone. I achieved this by deliberately placing the model further away from the background and not backlighting it. I used a reflector for some shots, which resulted in slight differences in the portraits. I enjoy exploring and experimenting with lighting, which allows me to immerse myself in the creative process and separate from the world around me, often resulting in model fatigue. However, because of Paweł, the session had to be cut short, leaving me wanting to explore more sets. Nonetheless, I was delighted with how well the session went, and I am already planning further experiments with undisguised excitement.😊
Equipment
Lighting: Elinchrom Rotolux Octabox 135mm
Reflector: Neewer
Background: Paper white backdrop and a grey wall.
Camera: Nikon Z7
Lens: Nikon 50mm f/2.8
In summary, these three weeks spent with Paweł were extremely valuable for both of us. Not only did we manage to conduct a headshot photo session, but we also worked intensively on his CV and LinkedIn profile. We also discussed his development and the challenges associated with autism, setting ourselves the goal of overcoming these obstacles. We had our first "coffee" together and went for daily walks practising mindfulness, which allowed us to notice the world around us and engage in deep conversations. I cherish these shared activities.
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.”
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found something valuable and inspiring in it. I want to add that we don't have written on our foreheads, whether we're autistic, introverted, or going through depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses. Each of us is different and unique. We should respect and accept each other without ridicule, without forcing anyone to be someone they're not. After all, we would like to be fully accepted without judgment, just as we are, regardless of our attire, position, lifestyle, ironed shirt or not, with makeup or without. Thank you once again for your attention and openness. Let respect and acceptance be the foundation of our relationships with others. Because the world is more colourful and fun with our diversity and quirks.😉🥰
See you in the next post!
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